i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
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