drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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