forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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