Yo dont text me then not text me
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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