Yo dont text me then not text me
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
