I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
