That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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