After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize