I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize