she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
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Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
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the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
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