if you like me you must not know who I am
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize