her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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