Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
