So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
