D3 body, D1 cock
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
