woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
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