i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Randomize
