home. puking in laundry basket.
Girls should come with a carfax report
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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