I can text with my tongue
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
