Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
