Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
