Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
