I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
