If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
