Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
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