I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
