There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
wow bdsm is so cute
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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