oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
