I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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