i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
