I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Girls should come with a carfax report
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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