...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
