I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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