I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
