she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
