i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
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He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
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I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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