When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
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