i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
