I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
