There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
We need a shit load of segways right now
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
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