Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
