I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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