If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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