Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
