Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Randomize
