another moral hangover. fuck.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
