Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
