All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
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