I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
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