let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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