honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
