i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
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