Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Randomize
