shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
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