WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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