Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
