I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
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