that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
