I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
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